Last week I did something I am still trying to analyze. At the core of it, I am fine with my actions and even intrigued by capitalist nature of it all. Yes–capitalist.

I had an offer from a little cum tasting wanna be. For a $100 I sent him emails full of humiliation, degradation and taunts about how much he is a daydreamer of cum, of course I empathize, and probably would have given my service for free, but I imagine the payment was part of the sexual-mental situation/stimulation. It was actually quite fun. I consider myself a open minded sexually, so the degradation and humiliation was not a problem, nor a judgment, I tried hard to be creative in my tactics–to taunt him with all the yummy cum I get to taste, to tease him with the idea of him licking my mans cum up from my pussy. We engaged in a work-week long game of cum denial for him. He would send me pictures of his painfully hard cock, wrapped in cute girly panties, featuring the likes of Hello Kitty, or locked in his cock cage, or restricted by a cock ring. I gave him tasks to perform and pictures to snap. Sending him pictures of my own, bringing him close to the point of cumming, he was dripping all over his girl panties. By Friday he was ready to explode, but his own significant other did not  let him cum until Saturday and when he did he had my instructions to follow. He took the pictures I requested and sent them to me Monday morning. Picture one; he came all over her breast, picture two; he licked it all up (imagining it was some other mans cum), picture three; his cum swirling around his mouth. Such a good, obedient wanna-be cock sucker.

I am not a stranger to this type of man, they are everywhere, the guy who secretly wants to be pegged, who wants me to strap on my cock and fuck him like a tender lover–then harder, because he deserves it–fucking his ass like never before–chasing him around with my prosthetic hard-on. I actually find myself slipping into the role quite well. But being paid for it was a first. It had me wondering what else I can get paid for, or what else I would be willing to do for payment. Basically–my behavior, my exhibitionism, me deep deep secret blog, the things I share with those few rare men–is something others do and get paid for. I do sexual things, other women get paid for. I always have. So now what?  Have finally been paid for writing (woo hoo!) or am I now dipping my toe into the sex industry? Either way I found it to be a good experience.