How long does it take one to grieve the loss of another cock. Perhaps I spoke too soon referring to him as my “steady cock.” I knew it was over the last time we had sex, but it was just such great sex I could not imagine it to be true that it was over–which is how my emotion became obscured. There I go again confusing sex for love.

“Steady Cock” is no longer steady for a number of reasons, most predominately being my unwillingness to be monogamous, followed closely by the train-wreck he lives with in his mind each day. I know I’ve mentioned how old people, crazies, the afflicted and the desperate find me, they notice that sympathy in my eye–know they can get me, know that I will be the soul they need to connect to at that moment. It is really rather exhausting, because about now I am the one who needs a soul to cling to, I need to be taken care of.

Anyway….

What’s a Vixen slut to do? How does a girl recover from another loss, another breakup, another notch in the bed post? Well– I don’t know about other women, but I do it with wine, whisky, weed and a whole lot of pornography. My own prescribed grief counseling is coming along quite nicely. For the most part I have spent the holiday weekend surfing porn and masturbating throughout the day.

I don’t always need porn though.

Did I tell you I got a new toy? I am fond of the njoy line, the simple design, the way my pussy heats up the metal, the way she grabs and clinches around the steel, well– one cannot go wrong with one of their toys. But, the 11, wow–nearly 3 lbs. of monster cock to fuck me and make forget my heartache.

Bed time. Shed what is not needed, I slipped into bed. I placed the smaller of the big round heads barley into me, just enough for my lips to surround, making my cunt want more. With my foot I could hold the njoy in place and even push on it gently–making me very wet.

I began to think about you.

What do you look like when you first wake up,  what are wearing when you run today, do you ever run without your shirt on?

Small vignettes of images pass my mind, as I dip into the wetness forming around the njoy and bring it up to my clit. I can feel myself grow. Engorge with cunt want.

I think about being very submissive toward you, about serving you, servicing you. On my knees a patient pet, waiting for you to feed me the only thing I want.

I can hear my pussy getting slicker as my fingers dance in the slosh of juice I’ve created. The thought of my lips on your cock has made me a sloppy wet kitty who need to fuck to forget. I begin to push the round head of the njoy further, rocking it in and out of my hole, my insides want to pull it in and seize onto it, but the bulb head does not pass that easily or quickly, it teases–it makes me moan, sigh, and beg for your imaginary cock.

Between your legs I drop, your smell makes me crazy, your grow thick right before my eyes without even my having touched you. You drip and I lick it up.

My pussy swallows the njoy, and convulses around it. Needy cunt. Needy cunt. Needy cunt.

My clit is swollen, my lips are swollen. I want come and I want to taste your cock.

The muscle’s of my cunt lift the njoy off the bed, squeezing around the shaft of the steel cock, it lifts and lowers, like I am weight training, but it is all involuntary. Deeper my pussy pulls in the wand, harder it clutches, my g-spot riding each spasm, and my lips and clit being strummed–and in my mind my mouth is fucking you. You’re as hard as the steel cock, pulling out and stroking your hand and palm gripping around your shaft, rubbing the tip of your cock onto my lips–oh yes porn this weekend.

I come hard imagining you covering me. Cleaning– I taste you, feeling your cock slide down my throat, the cum flavor filling my mouth.

Surprisingly or not, quite a bit of the njoy has been swallowed by my pussy, as I continue spasm around the steel, coming down from the elation of orgasm, the brain stars popping and disintegrating, my breath regulating–and my cunt lifting and releasing the barbell. It felt so good, I almost wanted to fall asleep with it still inside of me.

Pulling it out laying it on my belly I feel the weight and the heat, my cum shines on the steel.

image by Aeric Meredith-Goujon

© Copyright 2010Library Vixen, All rights Reserved. Written For: Library Vixen