My porn watching goes in waves. Sometimes I will get wrapped up in it, but lately I have not used it all. It has been quite sometime even, but this doesn’t mean I stopped fucking myself.

Lately I have been playing music and drifting away into thoughts of fucking certain men, it is not the same one each time. I focus on one and evolve that fantasy with that one until the end of the orgasm.

It has been the man I just fucked, rolling back into my memory, the way his hands wrapped around my throat right before I was about to cum, the way his terrifically solid beam was filling me up.

Sometimes I think about who might be, that possibility of the lover. I may have tasted you, tasted what might be, maybe I want more. Often, I drift into fucking you again. My feet propped up on my desk my thighs spread open, at first just wide enough for my hand and my arm to drop between, but then they naturally spread open wide–wanting to feel your body between, space for my strong legs to wrap around your torso. To pull you into me. Feeling your head slip between my things, miles between, as your tongue begins to work. And I drift. The way you eat me and lick me makes me pour sweeter with each lick.

And I drift, music playing in the background, my fingers explore my pages, surrounding, growing full and tight and then back to wide open again. The wand slips in and out.

And I drift into you, the man I will never have, except for in this capacity, my memory, my thoughts, your curve becomes my masturbation fodder. I drop into my “fuck me in the office chair” slouch, legs still propped. I imagine you there on the couch watching me, spinning the chair to face you. My pussy wide open to you, my eyes in lust slits. And I drift. Filling my mouth with my fingers, then into my pussy. I think about you stroking your cock. I swear I can see you there, we don’t ever fuck we just watch each other. That drop of pre drip is forming on your glistening tip. Licking my lips in want, I drift. I’m longing to know what you taste like, smell like, feel like. I can hear my pussy, she takes over my brain and the music fades and that static rain noise fills the room.

Would it sound different if your cock was plunging into me instead of this wand, would I get as wet, could you make me cum with your cock, I want you to finger fuck me, I want to know your taste, scent, your cum, I want to make you growl…

My eyes slide open and I see you watching, your cock stiff, calling me, glued to your belly.

Are you ready?
Make me cum.
I want to make you cum.
I want to see that branch sway in my direction.
My pussy is so needy it almost makes me cry.
And I am deep inside myself.
And I drift.