It is quite possible I am having a mild existential crisis.

I am certainly not myself, but then again I am questioning who myself is. I feel like I am living a good solid dual life, if not a triple life.

Since the DUI incident I have just been stuck in a funk. I even canceled a date. I feel a bit shook up still. Yes I am dealing with it, it is a costly deal that is for sure, and it has all left me with a lack of friskiness and with some questions I think I need to answer.

As much as I am longing for cock, wanting to get fucked and wanting to fuck, as much as I have been daydreaming about wanting to taste your curve slide into me. In fact I have been daydreaming about giving head so much it hurts, I think I might cry when I get the chance to make you hard in my mouth, tears of cock joy.

But for some reason I am having the damndest time getting the energy up to seek that cock out.  Just thought of dating seems exhausting right now. And while I can always go for the random meaningless sex, well it is just that, while I love the random–I hate the meaningless.

So, what’s a girl to do. What if I am losing my mojo, what if I am becoming overwhelmed with shyness? I am out of dating practice and I just don’t feel like doing it. But I also think that things such as dating need to be done or you do get out of practice, and you do lock your self in you apartment and watch too much porn and fuck your self way too often.

What do I do with all this want? All this cock want?