When I came today, I tasted very similar to a blueberry scone and was slick and creamy good.

It’s been a hectic few days that has not allowed me time to come. But, this morning I needed it–I needed it twice apparently.

It is strange to me what gets sometimes.

From the first line I knew immediately I had to come.

“Hey Sis!” my brother Glenn called from downstairs, “Get your butt down here and start sucking on my dick!”

Instantly I stopped reading and went to the bedroom to get my njoy and a vibe.

The story was long and read with a thread of reality and pain, yet still made me long for a cock to suck on.

The words sort of took me back to my own teenage life, not necessarily the incest side, but the ideas of escapism and sex. Being stuck in a life that I tried to fuck away and sometimes still do.

Reading her words brought me right back to my suburban seventh grade–hiding in the garage mulling over my Pops porn collection, reading and re-reading Penthouse forum. Going through the whole story twice while gently working my young pussy. Like I had to know the whole story before I would go back to those key paragraphs, the exact sentences that would make me want to explode.

“I loved Glenn’s penis, and at the same time I was scared of it.”

“I was so turned on! I could actually see his cock sliding in and out of her cunt, covered in her slippery juices.”

It is sentences like these that turned my cunt to cream. I got to the edge of a shaking orgasm then re-read those sentences over and over until I came, just like in seventh grade. Like I was back in my Pops garage a wave of guilt flowed though me with the wave of cum. My breath simultaneously heavy and shallow and my brain floating into the rafters.

When my head floats back down, I do it all over again. Focusing on different sentences, different phrases. Thoughts of sweet pussy, and the smell of sex fill my space. My toys and fingers are covered in a creamy gloss, I taste and lick them–and think blueberries with just a hint of baking soda.

Tweet

Yesterday I  ran a hot bath, I filled it with green tea bath salts and rose petals, I lit candles. It was all about relaxation and soaking.

Then I thought–-hell this is the perfect time to test drive the new 8” suction cup dildo.

Starting slow, with my fingers, I was already slick though, I have been horny for a few solid days. I switched to the dildo, I did not suction cup it to anything, but just ran it along my slit, enjoying the way the silicone feels sort of like real cock. Pushing the tip of the clear blue dick into my puffy lips, I opened myself up–running the length of the shaft between my lips, causing me to immediately want more. When I pushed the tip of the cock deeper I simultaneously felt my clit with my other hand.

I stayed slow, I was in there to relax.

Letting the dildo fall to the wayside, I drifted into thoughts of sucking cock. Not one particular cock–my imagination makes up cock–thoughts of what I think your cock is like, the cock I have tasted in the past. My ideal.

I switched to the jimmyjane’s (love that I can take it in the bath) low rumble, not in my pussy or directly on my clit, but on the mound, the surface–it makes me very creamy when I do this. Needy creamy.

The dildo drifted around the bottom of the bathtub, bumping into my thighs–seeking somewhere to go. I must oblige the inanimate cock. I must oblige my cunt.

More earnestly I fuck myself, the rumble closer to my clit, working my folds, opening myself up more and more–I start to work the dildo in. I do enjoy a nice big cock. It feels right and good, I have about half of the cock in squeezing tightly around it, gripping like I wish it were you. Like I would never have to let go of you. Like my pussy could hold you forever.

As I fuck, I notice my mouth dropping open, as it often does when I fuck myself. My mouth wants cock too, my mouth wants your cum.

I rise and stick the suction portion to the bottom of the bathtub, on my knees I lower my cunt to the tip, I slowly take it in, slow sliding up and down the shaft. My mouth still opening for some invisible cock. I ride. I grind. Slow turns to fast. I cram my pussy all the way down on to the cock–it hurts and feels fantastic at the same time.

I place three fingers in my hungry mouth–I think about you cumming, about you cumming in my mouth, my hair, my chin, my tits. And I fuck. In my mind I am devouring your cock with my lips and mouth. Questions and images of those questions run through my head the closer I get to coming.

What is the consistency of your cum?
Would you like it if I filled my mouth with your balls?
How rough of a blow job do you like?
Are you extra sensitive, could I have my way with you?
Do you want to feed me your dick?
How hard could I squeeze your balls?
Do you like it when my tongue slides into your slit?
What does your cum taste like?

I move my fingers from my mouth to the junction between my legs as I grind down and fuck few more strokes–daytripping about you feeding me your cum.  The flickering film in my head has you stroking your cock, pointing it at me, my mouth eagerly drops open, my tongue wagging in waiting. One last grind onto the prosthetic cock and I cum in a gush–I can see the white cream pooling around the clear blue of the dildo from inside my pussy and I see you cumming– hovering over me in bath, one last stroke of your cock–you shoot, gripping your cock tightly making sure I get every last drop I deserve.  Damn I love your cum.

Come on and give me some.

My favorite online crush likes pictures and I like showing him my ass…it’s a good fit. Sometime there are requests, sometimes just whims. He likes stockings. So…Sunday night before going out I set the camera up to take shots of me getting ready, my ass, tits, legs, big thighs. Shot of me putting my stockings on, clipping them to their belt, crawling across the floor, my fingers exploring my pantie patch.

I left, but always take my camera with me. Not long ago my crush requested some peep shots from inside my car. So I took advantage of this night out to shoot those too. My dress lifted, ass up in the front seat–I took a series of snaps. Close ups, odd angles, spilling cleavage, the pantie patch with its triangle of forming wetness. I took shots while I drove, feeling myself, stroking my full lips over the fabric. I started my night out kittenish.

It was one of those classic strange San Francisco nights–full of carnies, gypsies, misfit cabaret barflies, big thighed broads’ in short short skirts with eyes of glazed glass. The music was off—a weird mix of eccentric gypsy, Eastern Euro, bizarre. I felt like I was stuck in some David Lynch fucks Fellini as seen through the librarian’s glasses. It was pure oddity. I found myself becoming light headed on heavy beer, the infamous tamale lady looked more like a bearded lady, there was a strange dancer that looked like sherpa with a hospital band around his wrist–who claimed not to want to marry, but just dance with us. Dance. The saxophone player from the second band had me wanting my pussy licked and worshiped ferociously like the musical instrument it is. Lapping at my clit like a reed. I felt myself get wet and stay that way, sticky even. He was all oral, a definite pussy worshiper, I imagined his beard covered in my liquid love. The cast was a strange mix of misfits that had wandered in from the streets, but all somehow belonged together.

We, the librarians, fit right in. Misfits of the book, guardians of the strange.

When I got home, I was sort of high on the night; I turned the yellow hued light on followed by the blue glow of the computer screen.

I watched your cum spurt out and land on your belly, streaming and streaking in white, landing like electric spittle, dripping from your tip. It made me jealous of something and nothing tangible at the same. I want to fuck you with your glasses on–I want fuck you with my glasses on, two overly educated people fucking like animals with none of that education at work, critical thinking skills have no place here. I lifted my dress, unhooked my stockings from the buckles, pulled them down, spread my thighs wide, and pulled my panties to the side. The smell wafted up into the air, creamy excitement from thinking earlier about my cunt being worshiped. Vanilla yeast. My pussy was full ready to be stroked drained, sapped of it sexual build up of the night. I put the Friday playlist on even though it was Sunday and slid my fingers between my folds, wet pages opened up.

Dripped.

Hitting the record button, on the split screen was you stroking your thick cock, coaxing your love and me caressing my pussy. I watched both of us. Watching as your cock grew in girth–creating that ache of longing from the core of my insatiable cunt.

Simultaneously we virtually fucked each other. When you sat up, directing your beam at me, inviting my lips to taste, to feel you grow further inside my mouth, for a split second you are really passing my lips and I could smell you, and I can taste you. For a split second you were mine.

Envisioning the way I would slide onto you–your round substantial head teasing my slit, seeping into me. Gradually my cunt devours every inch of you. Spreading myself open–slow grinding onto my fingers, the silver bullet rumbles on my clit, two fingers lost inside, my flesh fully concealing their movement. I am fucking you, arched teetering on that pain consumption of the mind and pussy. Coming, I close my thighs around my hands, fingers and toy.

Sitting up from my orgasm slouch, my hand still slipping in between my pages, I lean forward, my pussy off the chair, but my ass still on it. Fucking myself harder, thinking about you coming inside me, squeezing your cock, draining you. Faster my hands plunge and flick, the bullet circling my button. I thrust and drove onto my already buried fingers and I begin to drip, the camera catches it all, the trickles dropping between my legs to the floor below, the elation of me coming and the gush from inside surrounding my fingers as I come hard for the second time. Stars flash that magnetic white light then fade.

I hit stop, save, and strip my way to bed.

originally posted Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Wearing my smartballs to work all day proved to make me beyond insatiable and crazy. It has made me a very wet kitty.

As I moved, shelved and squatted the balls within the balls rumbled inside me. We were short staffed at the library, which means for me, more reference desk hours than usual, which means more internet access for large blocks of time. I logged on to find a steamy email from a man who fancies the idea of his hand striking my ass as I grab a hold of the shelves while reciting those filthy odes I love so well—“do you need you mouth and cunt and ass fucked like the filthy little slut you are?” Alluding to my ultimate library fantasy, of cock buried in my throat while his hands grip the back of my head–semi hidden from eyes, but not really. Adding to my larger fantasy– he includes another woman and him in between the stacks of books, words, pages–her licking my honey salt pussy and he fucks me from behind as I drip into her mouth, she is drinking all of me in and loving every bit of it. Bit-o-Honey.

As I read the email, I grip up the balls, squeezing them tight. My inner flesh grabbing them like they were a cock. I grind my ass onto the seat pressing my full lips into the cushion. I wiggle my ass a little, crushing my full lips as the balls press into my g-spot filling me up.

Another email, from a friend who would like to bend me over the sorting table, hike and yank my skirt up, his hands discovering my body, my curves—what makes my breath rapid, what makes me pant like an animal, whimper and beg. Reaching between my thighs, kicking my feet apart–his hands searching my ass, my cunt, my slit. Slipping two fingers in he discovers how wet I am, he feels the cord of the smartballs. Pressing his two fingers into my dripping pages, he pulls my head back by my hair and whispers in my ear “what a little slut,” as he yanks the balls out, his words still lingering in my mind, I ooze onto them and into his hands, he lifts the balls to his mouth and licks them clean.

On top of these sweltering emails is the young, too young, boy who has been relentless in his pursuit. While I have been resisting because of our age difference, damn! he is really turning me on. He wants my mouth and lips around his cock, he wants to meet me in a dark spot and get some car cock worship (one of my favorite places). The smutty decadence he delivers to my text message has my box dripping. As I am squatted shelving I feel my phone vibrate, pulling it out to read one of the many texts about his throbbing cock, I spread my legs wide the balls inside drop a bit, and I can easily smell myself, the wetness, the sticky sweet slime leaving it’s traces behind. The physical scent of fuck me–fuck me–fuck me drifts up from my pussy into the air.

I am beyond insatiable now. I am ready to slip away and take my much needed break. I text the young boy back telling him I am about to go stroke my pussy, he asks for pictures. “Sure why not, I love photographing my own antics.” I open then lock the bathroom door behind me. Wash my hands, standing in front of the mirror I unbutton my jeans and slide my fingers into my panties, I smile to myself at how incredibly wet I am. What a wonderful slut. I close my thighs around my finger and hand wiggling them in my tight rainy cunt. I pull out the phone and snap a shot of me in the mirror with my hand down the front of my pants.

I am passionate, ardent, oh so horny. I slip my pants off, folding them and placing them on the chair cushion (yes there is an ugly orange vinyl chair in the bathroom), I sit with my ass at the edge of the chair, my pussy hanging over and my feet propped up on the toilet seat in front of me, knees bent. As I slide my fingers into my panties I snap another shot. Leaning back in the chair I stroke and please with more cadence, It feels good, my pussy so ripe and ready to be fucked, I melt around the idea. Not able to take it any longer I sit up and pull my panties to my knees, when I do this I drip onto the tiled floor below me, I just shake my head at the insatiability of my cunt. The puddle grows larger. I fish out my mini vibe from my jeans pocket, and proceed to stroke and fuck my self in the work bathroom. The hours of emails, texts, smartballs and my own delicious filthy mind have me soaking. Right as I am about to cum, I pull the string on the smartballs, as I pull–I resist with my muscles, like I am trying to keep your cock in me forever…one pops out, pain and pleasure merge, I press the vibe hard on to my clit. Holding it there for a moment, my abs tighten and my pussy clinches around the remaining ball. I let the vibe go and rub my clit and cream with my fingers I pull the second ball out –despite my cunts refusal to let it go–when it pops out I gush and come at the same time, the floor, the seat and my panties soaked. My thighs are shaking and my breath is not mine. The balls are covered in me, my fingers are covered in me. I lift them to my mouth and snap a shot of my fingers sliding down my throat tasting my own.

I sit there a moment–regain my wit. I get up rinse the smartballs off and put them back where they belong. When I go to put my panties on I realize they are too wet to wear so I slide them into my pocket, button my jeans and go back to work satiated and my pussy still full and many ways.

Lately I have been fantasizing about getting fucked in the ass. It is not that I’ve not been fucked in the ass before, it has just been quite a long time. Only once in a great while, am I comfortable enough with a man to let him enter my tightest space. It takes a special man.

Anyway I began to think why is it that I want it in the ass when I don’t even masturbate this way. Well of course I know why, because it feels so damn good and it opens my pussy up like wet blooming flower. It is truly amazing just how wet it makes me–this is drip down my thighs wet.

Over this past weekend I decided that anytime I was going to fuck myself I would include some ass play. The first time, I poured some organic kukui nut body oil into my palm and began to rub over my entire my body, tits–mashing them together–pinching and pulling my nipples, my belly, down into my mound of pussy–into my tuft of over grown bush. I could feel the blood fill and puff my lips. I began to spread my slit apart–growing aroused and slick. Moving lower I begin massaging my little puckered star as I worked my other hand into my junction, slow–no rush–no intent of even coming, just feeling my body. I did this for awhile then pulling out my magic bullet turning it to a medium rumble and massaging it firmly onto my hole at the same time conducting my pussy like a slow moving symphony. Still was not ready to come I just enjoyed the feeling of how sticky and slick my pussy was getting with the bullet on my ass. I did this until I drifted into a vixen nap state. So nice.

When I woke up I went for my usual weekend run–getting sweaty, the endorphins flying–getting my running high on. When I came home I stripped down, and jumped under the hot shower, bringing with me my body oil. The heat surrounding, the flowing down of hot water into the crevice of my round ass, I dumped a good amount of the oil into my hand and began rubbing and spreading my ass cheeks apart–massaging my hole, slowly pushing my finger in a little bit at a time. The moment I got the tip of my finger in I felt my pussy almost burst open. Sliding my free hand between my thighs to feel my lips, I’m surprised to feel just how ready and agreeable my pussy is, slippery and lubricated from the inside out–ready to be fucked am I.

It all began to make me weak in the knees–getting down on all fours and begin again. This time the tip of my finger slipped in with ease as my fingers fucked my cunt and flicking at my clit. More and more–pushing into my ass, fucking both holes, feeling my fingers only separated by the thin flesh between ass and cunt. Dripping and bucking into my hands, my fingers–palming my full lips at the same time. I was still sweating from the run, the heat, the hot water and the sex stimulation. The smell of pussy, ass and kukui nut oil trapped in the steam of the bathroom filling the air. I could hear myself panting and low moaning continuing to rock my ass back onto my finger. I came in a solid strong rush, very unlike pussy alone stimulation. A full body release–from mind, to lungs, to cunt, to ass–my body felt spent and stimulated at once. I needed another nap.

originally posted September 2, 2009

My life is insane busy at the moment, my inbox is stuffed with a ton of unanswered emails, my laundry is piled high, I have not been to yoga in three days, I turned down an actual bona fide date offer and those offers of cock, movies, meals, drinks–all turned down to take care of other matters. Soon! All library/professional/career advancement  projects will be complete by Friday and my time will once again become mine. I am feeling like a bit of a shut in. Although I have been doing my part for masturbation month–I am in serious need of a real night out culminating in a good old fashioned dicking down.

I have been daytripping a lot about past lovers, married men, those communications that drift into my world then back out. My past, those few I can claim as love. I’ve had a few, and I want a few more.

Driving the coast line, our hands unable to cease exploration. Yours deep inside my skit–finding my wet slit, heat emanating from my spread thighs. Mine, on your hard cock–straining against your jeans. The drive seemed endless, the anticipation to flesh. Other drivers would notice our hands, recognize that look on our faces. We didn’t care if they turned away–like they caught us in the act, or if they watched, rubbing their own stiffing knob–we were in our own.

We would hide out in my tiny apartment, staying up all night– smoking, drinking, fucking, rest then repeat–talk of poetry, architecture, the way in which you wanted to render me  in charcoal as I lay in repose on my couch–the broken sides of life–his sexless marriage–my unyielding loneliness. My fingers–tender in comparison to how you had just finished fucking me–as they ran through your hair, my sweet side–the I could love you side–even if it is for this shard of time.

Ending up all over the place, fucked and then exhausted and falling wherever we lay. Often I would watch him as I waited for his cock–covered and glossed in me– to rejuvenate. Our eyes heavy, lusty, lost in separate– yet joined thoughts and I would let my fingers slide between my lips. I liked the way it felt, your cum and my cum mixing–joining–culminating, my pussy full of stimulation and still wanting more. Sloppy and wet with us.

I would often come this way, with you watching me. The memory of the way your cock would begin to drip while I stroked my needy folds–the thought makes me still love him.

I love the way his cock drips for me.

I think I made some porn for the blind last night.

Of course, like many women, I own the Hitachi wand. This is not my favorite toy. It makes me cum in completely different manner than any other toy, cock, tongue, fingers, man or woman. I am not even sure I really like it, but I know that I do. It is designed to pull an orgasm out from the depth and make it last. Sometimes it makes me pour–like where the river opens into the ocean–there is clean up involved, sometimes it just makes me feel as though I came like that–without the flow. It’s designed for a buildup, followed by waves of multiple spasm cums. I felt the urge to record it on the flip cam–mostly I wanted to hear it even more than see it. I know how I look and it trips me out, the way may face contorts with certain orgasms. Hearing it, is different–especially with music–it become a mashup of my voice, porn in the background and whatever I happened to be playing at the time, last night it was Tom Waits.

I watched a few clips, so was already slick and wet before I flipped the recorder on. I watched some nice slow cock worship with lots of tongue action and verbal cues from the man (I like knowing you like the way I fuck you with my mouth–either with sighs, moans–or words of filth and lust). The way her tongue circled and licked his tip while sucking–made me needy for cock. Plus this particular bj showed the cum shot twice the second time in slow motion–detailing the cum dripping out of her mouth and down his trunk.

I watched a little bit of Madison Young getting spanked and taken by her sexy stern professor. Madison is cute, retro and fresh looking- and I love the way she is such an eager pussy licker. It made me really ready.

But I needed to cum to some cock.

I picked something called Tall, Hot and Fucking Wet. It is important for my porn watching experience that the the woman keep a nice shiny wet slit and the man give a solid beam. This one, at least has the wetness–the cock–well…did not stay as hard as I like (think the guy was high), but by then I was so ready to cum, it didn’t matter. With the camera on I fucked myself slowly, my fingers easily slipping in my lips. I knew it would not take long for me to give in. I talked more than usual, commentary. The odd thing about this clip, is there was a lot of real kissing–kissing after cock and pussy had filled their mouths, I like that.

I could not watch the whole clip, I was ready to cum and it was not altogether keeping my attention. So I pulled all the way to the end, so I could cum with them. She really did seem to orgasm–which made me cum and cum and cum. Holding the Hitachi in place, relentlessly into my cunt as the wave flooded over my entire body and then I held it there while I came several times without halting. The sounds I made was the animal fuck girl–a rare sound indeed, even more rare sight.
Confession: While I wrote this I went back and watched the Madison clip and came nice hard, while she ate her co-star to the point of cumming (you have to get 17 min. in).

Yes it is quite true and apparent we live in a global community and I have become one of the communities many town tramps.

We have all done it in one form or another, in fact we probably would not all be here in this global sexual virtual realm if we didn’t enjoy it. Be it chat, text, web cam, fucking yourself to internet porn, even phone sex, though outdated, I am going to include it–we have all done it. Some willingly, happily, some impulsed or with a driving compulsion, and some with a straight up addiction.

Where does our interest lie in this branch of sexuality?

Many times for me, it is like a sex toy, aiding in pulling out that orgasm. Sometimes a quick, down and dirty—fuck come– so I can get to work or on with my day. With the right words combined with the right images I come, quick and simple.

Like the other day, I was in such a crap down mood, having to work and just not feeling like doing anything. But then I  noticed an email– from a man who has been reading the blog and following me on Twitter for awhile–filled with niceties and encouragement at just the right moment.  A few minutes later as I was answering emails, I received a tweet from him asking if I received an email from him last week. I said no then checked my spam box. Sure enough, there was a lovely picture of his hard cock, just for me. It was tasteful, not just your average “living room” cock shot, it was back lit and a bit moody. I tweeted back that i got it, asking if it was really just for me? He replied that I deserved it. He was so right, I do deserve hard cock, all the time. The tweets, kept going back and forth, becoming increasingly more sexual. This was the first time I had ever sexed on Twitter. Fucking Twitter. I wasn’t really planning on fucking myself, more obliging the kind morning reader. It started humorous, but increasingly grew more sexual. I was giving him a good cock suck, or should I say he was giving me a good word pussy fuck as I dripped on his knee. He told me his cock was rock hard–well that does it to me every time. I want to know we are together, virtual, yet together. I need to know your cock is hard and you are stroking it thinking about me–however sensual, dirty, perverse, or downright sick, if you are stroking your hard beam and thinking about me while doing it , I’m in.

I was in workout clothing, not really going to undress for this one. I had my hands in my pants–shoved down my panties, pushing two fingers into my pussy, not to deep just at that perfect spot, and using my trusty magic bullet on the rest of my cunt and clit. Tweets continued to fly, he sent me a porno clip that was being watched, which took it to another level. I must confess I one who has serious compulsion to come, once I start watching porn, it is almost mandatory and I like to time my cum with porn star cum. Porn man had this beautiful cock and he was being quite vocal, moaning, grunting–it worked–his sounds alone made me begin to soak.

Back on Twitter my partner is ready to fuck pound me with his rock hard, right in my tightest space. He does and cums all over my virtual ass. Meanwhile I am still rumbling around in my pussy growing increasingly wet, in the clip the man was using the woman like hole–not necessarily that hot to me–but then he flipped her around, pulling her face off the floor, and began to pump his own hard wet meat towards her face. My favorite, a man with his hand wrapped around his thickness, moaning, vocally expressing just how good his cock felt–then he began a slow cum into her mouth. Simultaneously I pushed the bullet onto my clit and firmly slow circled the inside of my cunt. He came, and still continued to stroke his cock. To my complete surprise–I came, not just a little cum, not just a typical shutter orgasm that I was expecting, but a full on spurt. I never do that, I can soak and soak, but full on squirt, very rare. My juice spurted right out my panties, through my pants, down my pant leg and even squirted into my shoes. It was such a surprise and a bit of a shock. I tweet what happened laughing, giving my thanks, and that I had to go because I had some serious clean up to take care of. We shared the laugh–virtually. It was a strange set up, not expected and still very hot, very wet and very messy.

Last night, getting home from a long day at the library, I flipped the blue glow, checking emails–what not. Anyway–I belong to this online dating/sex service of sorts, well whenever I log onto this site I get IMed instantly. I usually ignore them, because they all seem to be anywhere from 18 to 22, and well—that’s just too young. But last night, a big guy from the Netherlands hit me up. He was sort of charming and had an endearing quality in the way he wrote, with a strange misuse of the English language. I got into it, and it was not overtly sexual, but enamoring and far away. I told him about my trips to the Netherlands, turns out I had been only 30 minutes away from where he lives. He is sort of sweet, so I ask him to chat on my Gmail. We switch over and an hour seemed to have passed like minutes.

Then it became strange, Boxing Helena strange, but by then I was sucked in. Or it could have been that picture of his beautiful monster cock he sent me. I really wish I could show you all. Big–bigger than his thigh, wet, shiny, rock solid and his hand wrapped around his base. Grrrrr makes my pussy melt, I immediately imagined my ass backing into his cock and sinking my pussy around him, engulfing his trunk. My insatiable cunt began her thumping. On the other end of the blue glow he was talking about dismantling my body, starting with my feet. Claiming it would make me more “penis-centric” if I did not have feet. Thinking to myself–with a cock like his I would be nothing but “penis-centric.”

He said I would be beyond sexual without feet. Yes, he has an amputee fetish. I was thinking what a freak, but I was at the same time pulled in by him. I started looking at image of amputees. He spoke of “dismantling” me, now I know this was just his strange use of language, but I must say something about the idea of being “dismantled” was intriguing. He said I could never leave him, and he would do nothing but simply fall in love with me, all of me. Wow! People or so amazing, I love it, what nut. But, apparently I too run on the nutty side, because we chatted for nearly 2 1/2 hours.

Then there are the online men I have actually fallen for. The ones who swoon, who take the time, who know me–or virtually know me, which I think is almost more knowing than in reality. I told them things, shared personal thoughts, things I never told other people. Computer anonymity make it easy to spill. I photographed myself, I filmed myself fucking myself for these men. Dare I even say–I may in some odd sense of the word, loved these men.

But we–them and me–are damaged by love, these men like me are compulsed sexually, but unlike me they are married. They found release in me and I let them. I should have stayed away, but they where oh so convincing. We connected through words, wires and technology. My cunt ached serious pain and joy to come for them. And then it falls apart, it always does. Of course it was destined to fall apart, they’re married.They already have the woman they claimed for life. Who am I? Just some little global tramp, a hot stone in a cool river. Refuge, an understanding soul– if only for a moment–fleeting and transcendent was our flings. But–I really did feel the pain associated with the loss of a lover. I fell for them, I connected in ways I didn’t even fully understand and I will take it as a lesson on virtually falling for married men. I want something a bit more truthful– like genuine spurt of girl cum.

Good morning, it’s a sleepy 6:30 on the left coast–my eyes are barely open the coffee is still brewing. I thought I would give an update on a few things I have not been talking about or avoiding or something.

First the DUI--everything is under way and moving forward, there for awhile it was stuck in legal limbo. I finally got my “restricted license,” this allows me to drive to and from work and to my “First Time Offenders”(FOP) program. The FOP is a time consuming, high cost joke. For six months I will be spending four hours with other DUI recipients doing “group” work and drug and alcohol education. Both of which appear dreadfully ineffective to a DUI recipient. The education portion of the FOP consisted of out of date film about the misuse of drugs and alcohol–it was like an 80s version of Reefer Madness. Although, my co-work informs me it may be a good place to meet some fun loving cock. Funny.

If all goes well, by September I will have my drivers license  back, of course it will have cost me over $5000 and 6 month of Thursday’s.  DON’T drink and drive kids, they want to stop you, they want your money–don’t do it.

Do you want to know about work? I am bored, I am frustrated, things move slow (especially when I move fast) when you work for a bureaucracy. I’ll leave it at that.

There are as always, especially with the sunshine, fantastic looking city people all over the place, shedding their clothing and riding their bikes, looking ever so fuckable. I love it when San Franciscans get a collective bout of Spring fever.

My sex life?

I have had very little sex with another human in the flesh. I have, loosely, decided to wait for a guy or girl I really dig. I’m not talking love, I just want to be into them, ya know? Plus a nice juicy thick cock doesn’t hurt either. I was seeing a fellow, we ended up getting too loopy and high and half fucking and if we were not loopy, the he jumped the gun…sure he could fuck several times throughout the night, and sure it looked amazing when he pulled out and his shaft was coated in me–wet and glossy–as he proceeded to stand over me and stroke his cock to cumming all over my belly, but I need about 30 more minutes of him fucking me first. Hence, the lack of cock and why I am waiting, though–I may have to re-evaluate this train of thought. I need to get fucked and soon, I need to taste, lick, suck and worship your cock. Now.

I have been plagued with a house guest, that finally left last night. My god did I ever need to cum, four days of build up, of slight touches, mild strokes, only fingertips dipped. Last night, I had my release, it was late, I had almost forgotten my cum mission. It began with image harvesting for the Tumblr then moved toward some good ol’ fashioned porn. First my fingers stroking my filling flesh on top of my jammie bottoms, then kneading my heavy tits with body oil, down to my belly and eventually the oil and my hands made it to my cunt. The 20 minute clip featured a cute, almost wholesome–if it wasn’t for all the black eye shadow and false eyelashes she had caked on–Pacific Northwest slut, who I knew, due to the title, was an anal lover.

As he buried his face into her pussy and ass I simultaneously burrowed my fingers deep inside me, pulling on my spot. I was rougher on myself than I had anticipated I would be. Pushing my three finger up and deep in, I pressed firmly into my clit–rotating slow and hard–pulling at my G-spot at the same time. Of course I love watching a man eat a woman and, of course, it is never long enough in typical porn (why is that?), so I pulled the scene back a few time bringing out my first come. It was a strong, body quake cum, so strong I felt sated already, like I could easily go to sleep, but instead I opened the desk drawer and pulled out the vibrator.

By now Pacific Northwest slut had his fantastic thick big cock in her mouth, choking a bit, make-up running–it made me cock hungry. Having never removed my three fingers from the depths of my pussy, I begin to massage the velvety tight walls as I crank the tiny chrome vibrator into my folds. I am pressing and crushing hard into myself, wanting cock so badly, wanting some flesh, wanting your solid root to use for my own. Waves consume my body, that familiar fire takes hold, I slow it down, you know– I want to wait for the cum shot. His cock so huge filling her ass, he pulls it all the way out and rests it between her cheeks, dripping from his tip–he want to cum, he takes the action way down–slowly he inches the head back into her, as my own pussy throbbing around my fingers, begging to cum. All of us so ready to let go, deeper I sink into myself, harder I pull, more frantically I flick the vibe on my clit–suddenly he begins to slam into her over and over–it is time. Pulling out, my favorite view–he strokes his big cock and releases all over her eager Pacific Northwest face. I pull the cum shot back one more time and let myself cum while he cums, imaging it is me you’re cumming on–tongue panting and waiting like a good girl for your white flow.

Great release! Four days of life seem to exit out from my pussy, I writhe a bit, then move to the bed–where the cool sheets caress the fire of my body and I recover from the flight.

image by Naken Bilderna!

My tits are heavy today, they are always heavy, but when I am bleeding they are even heavier. I like to give them a little bounce with my palms and feel the weight fill my hands up as thy bounce up and down. The nipples covered in layers of fabric can still not be hidden, reaching out for my fingertips to stroke, roll and pinch the thickening skin.

Men know when I am on my period. Maybe they do not know directly, but they sense some female sexual activity. Feelings of procreation perhaps. Dicks of all variety swaying in my direction. My own biological procreation answers their sways with a smile on my face and a pulsating wet slit in my jeans. My clit and puffy full lips desirous, my brain if given half chance would beg for bevy of dick. Reflections of two cocks, three–his and his, maybe his, and definitely yours. A brief notion of the librarian being gang banged in the darkened corner of her library passes my eyes–men standing over me–cock everywhere, bouncing and throbbing red–being stroked, bobbing in anticipation of my wetness.

At the bus stop, secluded and alone, sitting there thinking about my day–the words that have passed, the flirts that spread and boil in my body making my essentiality drip, I can feel it, sure to be leaving the tale tale crimson stain behind. My blood not only flowing, but filling my cunt with want. Tightly I ball up my little fist and cram it between my jean clad thigh, deeper, I feel my pussy–my knuckles circling around, a combination of blood and my own wet excitement has made my pussy a slick creamy consistency, the friction between knuckle and folds of swelling sex makes me want to cum.

The vibration of my bus ride home exasperates the longing, that need to be released. Wasting no time, the moment I get in the door, ok the window–because I can’t find my keys, everything sheds, the bags drop, the coat, the shoes, the day–I am in my own, my place, I am in me. Unbuttoning my jeans spreading them open, the thoughts of all the cock I fantasized about throughout my day flashes. My mouth indicatively drops open at the thought of your cock filling it. Standing in my semi-dark kitchen my fingers plunge into my slippery cunt, I wanted a feel, just a test–to see how wet I really was, but I could not stop. Looking out my tiny kitchen window–down onto the street, my fingers fuck, my clit on fire.  I can’t stop, I must cum. Swelling. Harder. I release, bracing my other hand on the counter, my breath heavy–gone, my thoughts rapid, a thumping in my skull and my fingers red.