NYC was a great lover– generous, a good mix of tender and beastly, an excellent pussy worshiper, ate good food, drank good booze and smoked good weed. I loved NYC– I would not have felt the heartbreak if I hadn’t. It’s hard to pinpoint what led to our demise, but I would say it was his wife, the other man I fell in love with and our combined jealousy and needs that in the end did not get met like we wanted.


Our last day together is a memory burned into the archives of my mind. Sitting across from him in a window seat, watching the Lower East Side pass by, it was wet and gray, winter– looking at you I could not stop the tears from flowing, it was there that I realized my affair with NYC was as much a love affair with the city as it was with the man. I really do love that city.


That all being said, I would sure like to get another fuckation man who lives in NYC. I like the idea of bi-costal fucking.

So, NYC men– let’s get into some bi-costal fucking, there is nothing else like meeting someone you have only met online then flying across the country to romp around with them for week. The anticipation and energy is amazing, scary, and could lead to many memories you are  better for having than not.

Applications are now being accepted.

by Library Vixen shot with Leica D-lux 3

Something has changed in me, in my footstep, in my thought process, in the way I carry myself with you. I am no longer yours, in my mind and in my body I am belonging to someone else.

My body has betrayed me because of this dichotomy of men. Or is that dichotomy lives within me? In my mind it’s easy to have two lovers, in reality my body is not functioning and letting go properly. The mental block has manifested in a blocking of the body and betrayal of my generally good natured wide open slutty pussy.

You have hardly been able to slide a finger deep inside my tight walls let alone your throbbing cock and when we do get that far–it is a forced fucking and feels not the same as it once did.

Maybe I should think of my SF cock, while I fuck my NYC cock.

I have made my NYC cock serve, what has become my bohemian lifestyle–including lovely cheeses and breads, find drink and good smoke, but also sexually.

I have become strict, unrelenting and perhaps a bit mean with NYC, but all in a cock loving, ball crimping, ass spanking, vibrator ass fucking, lick my pussy kind of way. ferociously I tease your cock, making you refrain from cumming, building you up then making you come back down, only to again force a raging hard on from you that is sure to go nowhere, until I am ready for it to.

I have enjoyed a few selfish girl cums, some pouring into your eager mouth while you lapped and drank me down, but this act of cumming was disconnected from the man who gave it to me. While I held your the back of your head between my thighs and released my cum–I was else where– drifting away into thoughts I made my own, thoughts to make me cum, thoughts of one cock.

Ok, so I have been hiding up in a Brooklyn tower, getting bonked all day, eating fine breads, cheeses, delicious salted greasy pork products, and a steady bottle of wine a day—vacation is good. Though traveling often seems to allow a bit of melancholia into my system. The goodbyes, the returns, large amounts of people on their way to other places– other places that I make up in my mind as I encounter each person. The smile on their faces, the tears welling in their eyes. The long and lost looks of weary travel shows in the creases of their faces.

For me, I return with a mixed bag of sexuality and love. When I departed to visit the NYC cock, I left behind the new steady cock–who had already found the solace and warmth of another cunt. He did so out of jealousy, spite, anger, sadness—I am not really sure of the motivation. Perhaps it was just pure fuck want, but I don’t think so. My feelings were hurt, even though it is exactly the same thing I was about to go off and do, and even pushed for the whole non-monogamy adventure. Now I return home with a sadness of my own and I am not sure I can give or get back to the steady cock that I left.

NYC is a fun and generous cock indeed, but he is not my cock–he too, like me– seeks escape from his life and up until now that escape has been our vacation fuck excursions. However this time it felt different. I had trouble keeping my mind clear, I kept comparing the two men. I was unable to kiss NYC like had in the past. My kisses on him seemed void and almost empty–distracted. And on the other hand my kisses to and from the steady cock seemed sullied and fractured.

It took me awhile to release completely and enjoy the ride, so to say, with NYC. We had lovely time. The place I stayed was very suiting to my moody girl ways, lots of book, lots of art and riding crop to redden the ass of NYC.

I guess because of all the tension with steady cock, it made me be more of an assertive vixen with NYC. I pretty much had control of his cock the whole time. I have been going back to basics– giving long sweet torturous hand jobs intermingled with my tongue and mouth. Just watching the way your cock reacts to my touch, to my hand wrapping around your shaft, the grasp of your balls between my fingers. My hand can make you so hard, so ready for my cunt to ride you, but instead I just want to bring you to the edge, then back down again. I want to kneel beside you and watch my hands on your cock, watch your face tilt in that agony of something you wife won’t do. I want to make your cock so wet with my saliva and your pre-cum that my hand glides with ease along your shaft as I slowly squeeze and pull you toward orgasm.

Laying on the turquoise vintage sofa, with that morning sunshine pouring in and the Brooklyn traffic drowning out any of our sex romp noises– I finally got lost. All became clear and all became nothing. It became lips, hands, cock, and cum—you and I and the rest of the atoms around us meant nothing. These moments in life happen so infrequently–these times when I can completely leave my body. I crave them. It’s like running, which I cannot do anymore, I have been channeling sex, like I used to channel running–it becomes my absolute escapism.
You become thicker and rock solid, I know you are about to cum, I drop my mouth down firmly around the bulging head of your cock and cup your balls firmly with my palm. I am truly in worship stance– on my knees, hand in prayer position around your root, and my head lowered in around your tip invoking the taste your cum to fill my mouth. I drain every last bit of you and keep twitching my mouth, until I am sure your cock has been fully used for the moment and then we slowly let the world return and await the next escape of orgasm.

I have found myself in a position I’ve never been in before, and I find it exhilarating, exciting, tumultuous, conflicting with extreme bouts of joy and sadness.

You see, I have become a bit googly eyed, dancing around with hearts in my eyes and all. Yes, the Vixen seems to have found herself a nice solid steady dick she adores. A steady sweet cock of a man, who may be willing to accept me for my wily wild ways. Though–questions of doubt, jealousy, insecurity, commitment issues, and concepts of monogamy or lack there of have seriously been surfacing. Mainly because this evening I am heading out to see NYC (a trip planned prior to meeting my new steady cock), plus of course there is this tell all blog (which I refuse to lie, hide, or alter the truth as I know it), the many cock shots that pass my inbox, all those naughty shots of my ass I insist on sending to those few select boys, my flirtatious ways both real and virtual, and just my all-around slutty ways are causing some deeper contemplation into my sexuality, both by me and my steady cock.

My  past two relationships, the Husband and the Gangster, both were seeped in lies, cheating and a fair amount of liqueur and drugs. Subsequently, they both failed miserably. When I finally left the Gangster for good, and “recovered” from the relationship (which took far too many years) –got back into my sex–I vowed that the next serious relationship would be an “open” one. Open in all ways possible no lies about who I am, or what I feel, open to try the wonders of fucking in all the glorious ways possible, and open to love when I can.   I promised to myself I would try this should such a situation ever arise and it took nearly six years to find a man worthy and able to be in such a situation with me.

Now I find myself in a relationship that has potential to be the thing I have been longing for, he could be the one. But, can we deal with the restraints (restraints of my own doing) that I have placed within the relationship? Will he be unconditional to my wild woman ways, will he allow me to keep a lover both virtual and real? Is it possible for me to love two men and for two men to love me? Or will it prove to be too much for our fragile minds and egos to overcome?  Tears have already flowed, hearts a bit broken, egos a bit bruised, and jealousy flared. Am I watching self fuck up things again?

Then of course there is the flip side–will I be able to handle it when he finds another? By going to NYC he has a free pass to explore these conditions that I have placed. It is no secret that I am highly jealous woman and perhaps this also makes me a hypocritical crazy woman as well.

For now I will try this experiment, perhaps even at the detriment of love. I will fuck two, I will love two men in the ways I can love them and I will let them love me the way they can love me, and hope that they will indeed still love me. I will attempt to quell my potential jealous woman behavior for something that is all my doing in the first place?

Oh, the trials and tribulations of a modern slut in search of love.

Driving over the Bay Bridge I could hear the phone beeping, I glanced briefly at the incoming email while maneuvering through traffic. It was my NYC man, I could see he was sending me porn links.  I knew he was home in his lovely office chair stroking his cock, hoping to tempt me and join him in the pixelated cube that is our love life.

Of course at my current position, spanning the bridge, I certainly could not do that, so I opt for the old fashioned way, I hooked up the blue tooth and gave him a call. In a tease of voice I ask–
“are you there watching porn stroking your cock–you dirty mid day cock lover?”
The sound of his voice–the crackling, the heavyness of his breath I could tell he was already deeply into what he was doing, he was close to coming.
I began talking him back down a bit, so I could tease and prolong our fun. When I heard the sexuality in his voice, the thoughts of his cock hard in his hand made me insistent on wanting to hear him cum.

My pussy was vibrating from the hum of the VeeDub, sticking my hand down the front of my pants I told him how creamy wet my pussy was. I was surprised by just how wet I had become.

“I want you to cum for me, I wanna to hear you cum.”

I pulled my mini out my pocket vibe from the doors side pocket, turned it up high and shoved it between my lips. It made me wet panties a bit more. By the time I was to get to my appointment, I was sure to have a sizable wet spot.

“Are you stroking that cock for me, my needy cunt needs some of that cock bad.”

I tried to think of filthy things to say because phone sex can be such a disconnect.

“My pussy is fucking wet, I am gonna get in car accident. Can I get a ticket for this?”

You are moaning and breath heavy in my ear—makes my body sink into the car seat.

“Send me a picture of your hard rock. Fuck me, I need to pull over.”

My exit is close, when I am off the freeway, I quickly pull into a metered space just off of Telegraph Ave., it is populated, yet semi secluded at the same time.

My pussy is tingling, I wet a little more around the vibe and my finger. It could have been the driving the vibrations, jostling my insides, putting me in that I am probably going soak when I come state. I can feel my pussy clutching up, trying to clamp herself around my fingers. Such a needy fuck kitty.

My head spinning, I feel that familiar float, I’m so high.

“Cum for me, cum on my tits, in my mouth, cum cum for me just cum all over me.”

You growl and I can almost see  you, I twitch and hold my come back from the serious soaking release I wanted to have, and Instead I have a tight tight controlled pussy orgasm. My muscles twitch and jerk and the core of cunt twists and pulls and wants so much more.

Our combined jovial laughter follows, filling my little wagon. I love your laugh.

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The blue glow, sometimes makes me feel alone. I can see you on the other end–we connect, we can watch the same clips of women coming–and men getting their cocks sucked. A shared pornographic experience. Engaging our bodies for the other and for ourselves on the glow, but we remain apart and after we cum we are still alone.

This sterility of the web cam sex is what takes me some time to warm up to–in order to have this shared web cam moment. It is the same as real time sex, I need some foreplay. In fact I need more, to make me relax and feel comfortable fucking myself for you–with you in front of the little camera within my machine.

We spent a half hour, maybe even more talking about the day–talking about New York–talking about libraries–that always gets me going.

Feeling comfortable, the vulnerability dissipated–my clothing did the same. Soon I was naked in my new ergonomic office chair (it’s got great tilt-ability). You are already naked, you stay naked. Your cock is thick and waving at me, it is heavy and throbbing red, I know what it feels like, but I cannot feel it.

We start sending the other clips to watch. Two girls, fuck machines, amateur couples.

“I’ll be right back” I chimed.

I watch my own round ass disappear from the computer screen–I am gone from view. Upon return I have a towel for the chair and my new JimmyJane Iconic Smoothie. I love this new toy it reminds me of my very first vibrator I bought from the mall at Spencer gits–in the gag wedding gift section (but could never replace my TV remote control). This is a simple white basic vibrator, but it is waterproof and super powerful and easy to control the speed.

Holding it up to the camera for you to see I slide it across my lips and in my mouth wanting it to be your dick. Together we watch the eager girls lick each others pussy, I watch you stroke your cock, you watch me spread my thighs. My fingers slip into my folds, my hand grasps around my tits, making the nipple hard and erect.

“god I love seeing your tits.”

I mash them together for you, body language for–your cock could be here.

Propping my feet on the desk, dropping my thighs wide, I slide my fingers down deep into my pages and bring them back up to my lips.

“What do you taste like today?”
I lick and respond,
“Tasteless.”
“Oh your not tasteless.”

But I am, on the surface, I taste nothing, just the mildest of lemon salt. I am not flowing enough yet to become flavorful, I plunge deeper with my fingers, the walls of my cunt–feels hot, soft velvet and in mind I imagine the darkest of red–grabs my digits and pulls. I need to be fucked. I need cock.

Pulling my finger out they are coated, creamed, and taste of sweet and tangy, I lick them and bury them back in.

On my split screen set up (geek porn) I watch the amateur couple fuck and on the other I watch the squirting girl with the beautiful pussy squirt all over the fuck matching and in between I watch you stroking your thick root of a cock. Further I tilt, bringing the vibrator to my full lips, to my clit, my pussy jumps and clinches around my finger and the flow begins. Pussy streams down my ass cheeks and onto the towel under me. As I seem to slip even lower into the chair I watch all three glowing scenes.

Everything becomes ultra quiet–the vibe is the only thing I seem to hear. I am no longer focused on any one thing in particular, in fact it is all out of focus–like I am watching porn with my glasses off.

Fucking my fingers, I raise my ass off the chair and grind. Fucking my hand like it’s cock. I need cock. The jimmyjane nailing my clit making liquid surge. My pussy is full and fat with blood and life. Everything is so quite, I am barely making a noise–all sound is blocked inside of me, my body tense with locked noise and I fuck.

When I come it is intense wet soaking, painful, relieving, freeing and silent. I feel like I made not a sound. My hands still in me the vibe still rumbling I stay there and ride another wave of silent orgasm, I feel my self coming, I know I am soaking through onto my new chair and I don’t care. I pour and pussy is alive and full–she is a fucking animal–and I don’t care. And I come and I come.

In my come moment I beg you,
“Cum on my pussy….please.”

A begging sigh for your come as my pussy is still throbbing and deeply clenching my fingers–I sense you coming.

“Cum on me.”

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While NYC was here we could have engaged in a threesome with another woman. But– I did not find myself attracted to the other woman. Physically she was great, in great shape–better than me–but her personality through me off. She was a strong pushy type–which is fine in a friend, but as another woman in bed–it was just not going to work for me.

Actually all threesomes I have engaged in (which is not all too many) with two women have been with one of my close friends and then together we find the cock to play with.

I can deal with a dominate cock, but a dominate pussy–I don’t think so. I am not sure I could submit to another woman, particularly in a MFF threesome. A nice smooth, curvaceous, soft, quite, shy submissive girl would be nice though– more of my equal.

Threesomes with two men have been easier to come by than with another woman. For me there is a jealousy factor I contend with—something I am always contending with in one form or another.  I am such a jealous woman it is ridiculous. I wonder if is indicative of a woman’s personality–to be jealous? I am even jealous of my male friends mates. I am pretty open about my jealousy trait–because it is really just a ridiculous side of me and I laugh at it myself, but it is truly there.

It would be hard for me to watch my lover kissing and licking another woman’s pussy while I watch or join. Not that I would not let it go and enjoy myself, but the thread of jealousy would still be there. Two cocks just seem easier to me, but not all men are into the idea of two men and me. Me me me me want two cocks!

Would my lover be jealous? Do men get as jealous as women?

I think about monogamy and am quite sure it is not all too possible. If I were to engage in a committed relationship the concepts of polyamory would have to be discussed at the onset and throughout a relationship. How would my jealousy play into this factor?

Is it all just a matter of me being a greedy yet jealous girl–I want your cock and the option to have his too? How will I behave when you want another pussy?

Maybe the solution is to play with another couple. Hmmm? I like the ideas of that. I am sure jealousy would fly about the room, but that it would charge the sexuality rather than hinder it.

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I have mentioned many times how I’m personally opposed to assuming one sexual role in a relationship–that I enjoy many levels of sexuality, role play, and role reversals. One particular sex fixation will not get me off each and every time. It would take some serious breaking for a man to make me a completely submissive woman. It is just not in me.

Nor could I be with a completely submissive man.

However; I do have a penchant for taking a man down and making him mine. In the past I have sought out submissive men to have my way with, a girl dosnt doesn’t have to seek too far. But these men only, and always want a woman to take them and use them. That is not what I am into.

There is an aggravation equation when it comes to dealing with men that can easily be solved with a bit of the ol’ take down.

As much as I enjoyed NYC–he talks too much, he gets too eager, he has and keeps a constant hard on that follows women around with like a dowsing wand. So what’s a girl to do?

Take down.

Wearing an adorable pair of ruffle burlesque panties, my glasses and a smile–I  placed him in a very compromising position. He’s a good sport. I locked his hands together tightly with a belt over his head.

“No touching. You touch your cock too much as it is,” I bitched.

His cock and his balls– I then wired to the electricity producing machine. From the moment I attached the sticky pads to his cock I felt this power wash over me–this feeling of control–this command of my own pussy. Girl takes boy.

Slowly I turn the knob–watching him twist and squirm I get a demented feeling of fun and I am sure and delightfully evil glint to my eyes and of course an even bigger vixen smile. I tease as I turn the dial–telling him where I usually like it set. I get to my number and pass it. Apparently his cock is not as sensitive as my pussy–I get to where he can feel it–his thighs jump and his cock twitches–then I turn it up a little more.

NYC strains to look at his wired up cock.

“What are you look at? No peeking.”

Blindfold time.

Something about a blindfold on the man is liberating to me–especially when the man is tied to my bed and not going anywhere. I am free to do as I please. I become another woman, a different fraction of me. I turn the dial a little higher–he moans and jerks around. He starts mumbling about  something.

“are you talking? –shut up.”

There is only one sure way to shut a man up. Straddling his face I lower my ruffled black panties over his mouth. That should do it.

We are in a nice 69 position, so I can monitor his wired up cock. I give him a little suck and stroke now and then. The electricity has him excited, but his cock goes in waves of hard to soft in correlation to the current running through it. I decide a finger might be nice for him. I rise up and sitting on his face more as I wet my finger in my own mouth prepping it to shove in your ass. I pull the  wet lace soaked patch aside so your can lick and eat directly on my pussy, gliding over your face and tongue like it’s your cock. Leaning up and over and I shove my finger deep in, hitting your gland–feeling it, massaging deep inside, your cock bouncing in front of my face–I give another little suck as I fuck your ass, then a round of electricity runs through you again and you moan.

I pull my finger out at the same moment the electricity is on a down wave. You may have actually whimpered, but I didn’t really care I continued to ride your face. I sort of cannot stand when I have had my finger in ass, I don’t mind doing it and surely love when someone does it to me, but I cannot fully relax again until I have  washed my hands. So I get off you to do so, allowing you take a little break, but before leaving the bed I remove my burlesque panties and shove them deep in you mouth. No talking. I wash. I pee.

Upon return I plug the Hitachi in– mostly for me, but I give you a little too. It makes your cock jump. It makes your ass rumble, it makes you moan.

“No moaning.”

Yanking the panties out of you mouth I get back on your face and go for a nice long ride. You become a mouth to fuck and very little else. I am gone. I am wanting to come now. I don’t care if  you ever come. I want come. Your tongue fucks me, flickers my ass, fucks my ass, I sit on your face, I command you how to lick me properly, telling you how to fuck me with your tongue.

You are such a good sport.

My thighs straddled across your face, I watch as your cock does an electric dance. Bringing the Hitachi to my already wet wet pussy, I hit it. Low–Oh god damn it feel so fucking good, god damn.
I can feel the liquid dripping down my thighs. The Hitachi is a super soaker to me. Quickly I click it off and you lick up what has dripped out, your tongue hot on my cunt. I am ready to cum.

I hit it again this time on high, my pussy lips hovering, your tongue lapping at me, the wand reverberating at my clit, but hitting my core. I could no longer hold back, I push the wand harder into me and let loose, let it all go. More than a gush, a soak, a river of girl cum floods your face, destroys the sheets and my favorite pillow bellow you. And I keep coming and writhing onto of you. My body is full of it’s own electricity–jerking and twitching about.

Keeping my pussy on your face I remove the electrode pads from your cock. I turn and straddle your face the other way balancing my shaky post cum body on the wall.

“Stroke yourself, cum on me.”

I cannot see you, but I feel the familiar motion of cock being jacked, you eat me while you stroke and it doesn’t take long before your tongue has brought me to a mild post orgasm–orgasm. I am flush as I drift over you mouth–trying to catch my breath and my senses–I feel your body tense and then I feel your heat splash my back.

We collapse–and the roles become neutral again.

When we regain–I then take the submissive role back and prepare us a snack.