Entanglement
I really wasn’t expecting anything other than dinner with a long time email correspondant from the East Coast. I knew we had a lot in common– music, film, art..sex- but I have those things in a common with a lot of people. That flutter of anticipation filled us, almost like children, we nearly ran to [...]
Deleted and Dejected
Oh sweet rejection how I’ve missed you so. One thing about just not playing the game is one doesn’t have to suffer from the rejection. One of these days I am just gonna stop caring about getting laid, about falling in love, about all of it. My long weekend ended already and not with a [...]
the devil and the deep blue sea
The knock came late with an urgency that scared me from my stoned out slumber. “Who is it?” Nothing, no response. I knew who it was. I could hear his nervous hands fumbling with the screen door. Almost simultaneously his fingers clasped the doorknob as I twisted the lock to open pushing the door open, [...]
laundry
We always let each other be who we were, or at least who we thought we were at that time, what is a shame is neither of us could admit to who we were, or wanted to be, we were still hiding crucial parts of who we were. He still let me be who as [...]
Rape and the fight for love.
I mentioned that I watched some rape themed porn a few weeks ago. This is not my usual flavor, and I have not gone back to that particular genre since then, well at least not with my porn viewing. It is one of those things that surfaces quite infrequently, but still frequently enough that [...]
infins agony
Damn this fucking heartache life. I am alone and I am not. They come fractured, and I don’t help– as much as I want, I can’t help, nor can I seem to turn away. Only twice have I been asked to stop writing about someone, about the person in my life, about the emotion, power, [...]
meditation
meditation of sound break down -layers -fragments -common denominator Threads of disconnection connecting -root -splay -earth Guttural wave from cunt wails heartache -cry -choke -fuck me
so it goes
There is this man, who I seem to be inexorably linked to, like sleep to dreams. It is this connection that has made the sex, what sex is supposed to be–electric, connected, hot, and surprising. Sex is easy, it is finding this connection that is difficult–this connection that makes sex true–that gives me that feeling [...]
other
the eroticised other– on the outs, destined to on-look at my own train-wreck. floating high above the pavement I beat a strand of spit & cum connect my physical body to my halcyon other. the other woman– she, now me. The other of the other. virtue has never been my strong suit, a romantic catastrophe [...]
laissez-faire
As the year approaches a close I, again, reflect on the past twelve months of love and fucking. I have spent the last year embracing selectivity, choosing with some form of concerted effort who I gave my mind, time and pussy to. It is my final conclusion that the selectivity method for finding partners does [...]
