It has been a hectic few days that has not allowed me time to cum. But, this morning I needed it–I needed it twice apparently.

It is strange to me what gets to me sometimes. From the first line I knew immediately I had to come.

“Hey Sis!” my brother Glenn called from downstairs, “Get your butt down here and start sucking on my dick!”

Instantly I stopped reading and went to the bedroom to get my njoy and a vibe.

The story was long and read with a thread of reality and pain, yet still made me long for a cock to suck on.

The words sort of took me back to my own teenage life, not necessarily the incest side, but the ideas of escapism and sex. Being stuck in a life that I tried to fuck away and sometimes still do.

Reading her words brought me right back to my suburban seventh grade–hiding in the garage mulling over my Pops porn collection, reading and re-reading Penthouse forum. Going through the whole story twice while gently working my young pussy. Like I had to know the whole story before I would go back to those key paragraphs, the exact sentences that would make me want to explode.

“I loved Glenn’s penis, and at the same time I was scared of it.”

“I was so turned on! I could actually see his cock sliding in and out of her cunt, covered in her slippery juices.”

It is sentences like these that turned my cunt to cream. I would get the edge of a shaking orgasm then re-read those sentences over and over until I came, just like in seventh grade. Like I was back in my Pops garage a wave of guilt flowed though me with the wave of cum. My breath simultaneously heavy and shallow and my brain floating into the rafters.

When my brain floats back down into my skull, I do it all over again. Focusing on different sentences, different phrases. Thought of sweet pussy, and the smell of sex fill my space. My toys and fingers are covered in a creamy gloss, I taste and lick them–and think blueberries with just a hint of baking soda.

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Someone was recently describing their cock to me, saying it was normal, just like every other cock. This is not possible; every pussy is not the same is it? No. Some grow fat, some grow pushing their love petals open, some get slicked with sticky dew, some swell like an over ripe summer fruit. Some taste like sweet honey brine others like pennies in your mouth. Like cock, we are all different.

I have been trying to think if there is one particularly way in which I like to worship over another and have decided that, no there is no one way. Like the actual physical characteristics of the cock, the act is always different too. I will become accustomed, begin to understand how certain men, how certain lovers enjoy my lips, but the manner in which I make you cum is always different.

How do you like it? How do like when my lips are at your crown, sinking toward your shaft? Does it alter with your ever changing moods? Do you like to gag me, yank my hair to meet each thrust of your cock into my willing wet hot word hole, until you fill me with your liquid subjugation? Or, do you like to sit back, let me take control; watch me as I love your cock? Pleasing and teasing beads of pre-cum for my sampling, licking, slow tasting, drinking you in, intoxicating my mind. Do you like to hover over my face, fucking my mouth like it is my pussy? Do like the way I cup your balls as my mouth sinks down to take you all the way in, the way I remain there, not moving just savoring your whole cock filling my mouth? Are you a brute, ramming around choking me, bringing water to my eyes, causing drips between my thighs? I bet you like to slap me around a little with your cock. Do you want to fuck my tits as I mash them together while the tip of your cock slides in and out between my O-shaped wet lips? Do you not let me use my hands, mouth only or do you like the combination of mouth and hands all over your saliva coated dick? Do you enjoy a tease of the tip, a flick of my tongue, a parting of your slit? Do you want to coat my face with your sticky, or do like it when I swallow it down like a hungry slut?

Let me worship your cock today.

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This sterility of the web cam sex is what takes me some time to warm up to–in order to have this shared web cam moment. It is the same as real time sex, I need some foreplay. In fact I need more, to make me relax and feel comfortable fucking myself for you–with you in front of the little camera within my machine.

We spent a half hour, maybe even more talking about the day–talking about New York–talking about libraries–that always gets me going.

Feeling comfortable, the vulnerability dissipated–my clothing did the same. Soon I was naked in my new ergonomic office chair (it’s got great tilt-ability). You are already naked, you stay naked. Your cock is thick and waving at me, it is heavy and throbbing red, I know what it feels like, but I cannot feel it.

We start sending the other clips to watch. Two girls, fuck machines, amateur couples.

“I’ll be right back” I chimed.

I watch my own round ass disappear from the computer screen–I am gone from view. Upon return I have a towel for the chair and my new JimmyJane Iconic Smoothie. I love this new toy it reminds me of my very first vibrator I bought from the mall at Spencer gits–in the gag wedding gift section (but could never replace my TV remote control). This is a simple white basic vibrator, but it is waterproof and super powerful and easy to control the speed.

Holding it up to the camera for you to see I slide it across my lips and in my mouth wanting it to be your dick. Together we watch the eager girls lick each others pussy, I watch you stroke your cock, you watch me spread my thighs. My fingers slip into my folds, my hand grasps around my tits, making the nipple hard and erect.

“god I love seeing your tits.”

I mash them together for you, body language for–your cock could be here.

Propping my feet on the desk, dropping my thighs wide, I slide my fingers down deep into my pages and bring them back up to my lips.

“What do you taste like today?”
I lick and respond,
“Tasteless.”
“Oh your not tasteless.”

But I am, on the surface, I taste nothing, just the mildest of lemon salt. I am not flowing enough yet to become flavorful, I plunge deeper with my fingers, the walls of my cunt–feels hot, soft velvet and in mind I imagine the darkest of red–grabs my digits and pulls. I need to be fucked. I need cock.

Pulling my finger out they are coated, creamed, and taste of sweet and tangy, I lick them and bury them back in.

On my split screen set up (geek porn) I watch the amateur couple fuck and on the other I watch the squirting girl with the beautiful pussy squirt all over the fuck matching and in between I watch you stroking your thick root of a cock. Further I tilt, bringing the vibrator to my full lips, to my clit, my pussy jumps and clinches around my finger and the flow begins. Pussy streams down my ass cheeks and onto the towel under me. As I seem to slip even lower into the chair I watch all three glowing scenes.

Everything becomes ultra quiet–the vibe is the only thing I seem to hear. I am no longer focused on any one thing in particular, in fact it is all out of focus–like I am watching porn with my glasses off.

Fucking my fingers, I raise my ass off the chair and grind. Fucking my hand like it’s cock. I need cock. The jimmyjane nailing my clit making liquid surge. My pussy is full and fat with blood and life. Everything is so quite, I am barely making a noise–all sound is blocked inside of me, my body tense with locked noise and I fuck.

When I come it is intense wet soaking, painful, relieving, freeing and silent. I feel like I made not a sound. My hands still in me the vibe still rumbling I stay there and ride another wave of silent orgasm, I feel my self coming, I know I am soaking through onto my new chair and I don’t care. I pour and pussy is alive and full–she is a fucking animal–and I don’t care. And I come and I come.

In my come moment I beg you,
“Cum on my pussy….please.”

A begging sigh for your come as my pussy is still throbbing and deeply clenching my fingers–I sense you coming.

“Cum on me.”

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Cock hungry is what I am and feel a determination I have not felt in some time. Determination for someone to share a drink with, shyly smile at, for lips to kiss, for a strong thigh to run fingers up as our legs do that intertwine under the bar, for a cock to make heavy with a whisper in the ear, and hard with my skill.

What is a single lonely cock hungry girl to do?

I must take some action to get this need satisfied. I don’t think I got enough of NYC’s cock while he was here–I did not suck his cock enough, I was too happy and pleased getting my pussy worshiped. Loving on that , but now that the cock is gone all I can think about is making a dick considerably larger, smelling, tasting, kissing and licking–all those preludes to a good face fuck.

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Actually all threesomes I have engaged in (which is not all too many) with two women have been with one of my close friends and then together we find the cock to play with.

I can deal with a dominate cock, but a dominate pussy–I don’t think so. I am not sure I could submit to another woman, particularly in a MFF threesome. A nice smooth, curvaceous, soft, quite, shy submissive girl would be nice though– more of my equal.

Threesomes with two men have been easier to come by than with another woman. For me there is a jealousy factor I contend with—something I am always contending with in one form or another.  I am such a jealous woman it is ridiculous. I wonder if is indicative of a woman’s personality–to be jealous? I am even jealous of my male friends mates. I am pretty open about my jealousy trait–because it is really just a ridiculous side of me and I laugh at it myself, but it is truly there.

It would be hard for me to watch my lover kissing and licking another woman’s pussy while I watch or join. Not that I would not let it go and enjoy myself, but the thread of jealousy would still be there. Two cocks just seem easier to me, but not all men are into the idea of two men and me. Me me me me want two cocks!

Would my lover be jealous? Do men get as jealous as women?

I think about monogamy and am quite sure it is not all too possible. If I were to engage in a committed relationship the concepts of polyamory would have to be discussed at the onset and throughout a relationship. How would my jealousy play into this factor?

Is it all just a matter of me being a greedy yet jealous girl–I want your cock and the option to have his too? How will I behave when you want another pussy?

Maybe the solution is to play with another couple. Hmmm? I like the ideas of that. I am sure jealousy would fly about the room, but that it would charge the sexuality rather than hinder it.

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Summer, as it always does, seems to be coming to a crashing end. Even as an adult–I get that feeling of summer lasting a lifetime, but then mid August rolls around and I am perplexed about where the time went and why did it go so fast.

Of course I spent a majority of my time and money on my legal problems. If I have not said it lately—

“Don’t do it. No drinking a driving–none. They want your money, they want your time and none of it is worth it.”

I am to blame, I try to live without blaming others. Last night  was my last court ordered DUI class–I had to give a small speech. When I first started the torture of DUI class, I did blame–I blamed the cops, the system, the CA budget crisis. But, last night in my speech I fessed up–there is no one to blame but me. It was an overdue consequence of my bad behavior. And it cost me a lot of money and time–and to say the least it has been a giant buzz kill.

So…just don’t do it.

Back in July I mentioned my new approach to dating; selectivity–I guess over quantity. I have been considerably less of slut this year–which is good and bad. I am certainly not having as much sex as I want and need, but the sex is good. It is like weed, I would rather not smoke unless it’s some high grade shit–I would rather not fuck you, unless you are going to fuck me right–or rather we fuck each other right. NYC was my only summer fuck, well and my wild man Wyoming wedding hook up–which was defiantly fun. For the most part I have been a loyalist to NYC–the time between visits made it doable to be so.

But now what?

Often I get emails from men, who think I must be fucking day in and day out and that I am such a marvelous slut—that all I do is fuck and suck. This is not the case. Yes I am a marvelous slut, but I am not looking for just fucking. On one first (and last) date night a guy said something to me that has not left.

“Don’t you want love, isn’t that the goal? Don’t you want to wake up next to someone?”

I am not looking for casual fucking, well I am–but I also want love–I want to love your cock, I want your cock hard for me–not for what my lips can do to it, but because they are my lips. Sometimes at night I get in my bed and it feels like it expands in size–filling the room and I become this speck of a woman in this huge over-sized bed. I cannot breath. The ache to feel the warm body of a man I love next to me, to feel his cock hardening–pressing into me, for me.

My search continues, the dating will have to resume again. I have stopped online dating–I grew very sick of analyzing data and trying to make love and sex happen from the results. Online does cut some of the bullshit away, but I want to seek romance in a more organic manner. I want to talk to someone. Look you in eyes when I smile and hi.

I measure my life in seasons, in time. Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter–I watch my time pass. My happiness and the loneliness measured with the ebb and flow of the tides, with the changing of the leaves, with the amount of precipitation in the air–an attempt to express my longing and want for love and cock.

A few last things on my mind…

Today’s tumblr features Ambrotypes and Daguerreotypes created by a Bay Area photographer. The work is captivated me instantly. The artist is available for commissions. The work can be seen on Erotic Ambrotypes and Nude Daguerreotypes. Contact the artist for further information. Also, check out The Dag Lab for more background about Dagurreotypes and some beautifully haunting works of art.

CityDouble, where are you?

“Sometimes the denial or suspension of what we need must be the answer; never the ability to obtain our desires remaining just from a hands grasp.. that perpetual unavailability serves as some form of satisfaction. the momentary taste to feed desire and more. what would eventually fade in love (i wonder) remains there always. in memory and past action, it is there for the mental taking to revisit alone, time and again.”

Natty, where are you?

Love, where are you?

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Nor could I be with a completely submissive man.

However; I do have a penchant for taking a man down and making him mine. In the past I have sought out submissive men to have my way with, a girl dosnt doesn’t have to seek too far. But these men only, and always want a woman to take them and use them. That is not what I am into.

There is an aggravation equation when it comes to dealing with men that can easily be solved with a bit of the ol’ take down.

As much as I enjoyed NYC–he talks too much, he gets too eager, he has and keeps a constant hard on that follows women around with like a dowsing wand. So what’s a girl to do?

Take down.

Wearing an adorable pair of ruffle burlesque panties, my glasses and a smile–I  placed him in a very compromising position. He’s a good sport. I locked his hands together tightly with a belt over his head.

“No touching. You touch your cock too much as it is,” I bitched.

His cock and his balls– I then wired to the electricity producing machine. From the moment I attached the sticky pads to his cock I felt this power wash over me–this feeling of control–this command of my own pussy. Girl takes boy.

Slowly I turn the knob–watching him twist and squirm I get a demented feeling of fun and I am sure and delightfully evil glint to my eyes and of course an even bigger vixen smile. I tease as I turn the dial–telling him where I usually like it set. I get to my number and pass it. Apparently his cock is not as sensitive as my pussy–I get to where he can feel it–his thighs jump and his cock twitches–then I turn it up a little more.

NYC strains to look at his wired up cock.

“What are you look at? No peeking.”

Blindfold time.

Something about a blindfold on the man is liberating to me–especially when the man is tied to my bed and not going anywhere. I am free to do as I please. I become another woman, a different fraction of me. I turn the dial a little higher–he moans and jerks around. He starts mumbling about  something.

“are you talking? –shut up.”

There is only one sure way to shut a man up. Straddling his face I lower my ruffled black panties over his mouth. That should do it.

We are in a nice 69 position, so I can monitor his wired up cock. I give him a little suck and stroke now and then. The electricity has him excited, but his cock goes in waves of hard to soft in correlation to the current running through it. I decide a finger might be nice for him. I rise up and sitting on his face more as I wet my finger in my own mouth prepping it to shove in your ass. I pull the  wet lace soaked patch aside so your can lick and eat directly on my pussy, gliding over your face and tongue like it’s your cock. Leaning up and over and I shove my finger deep in, hitting your gland–feeling it, massaging deep inside, your cock bouncing in front of my face–I give another little suck as I fuck your ass, then a round of electricity runs through you again and you moan.

I pull my finger out at the same moment the electricity is on a down wave. You may have actually whimpered, but I didn’t really care I continued to ride your face. I sort of cannot stand when I have had my finger in ass, I don’t mind doing it and surely love when someone does it to me, but I cannot fully relax again until I have  washed my hands. So I get off you to do so, allowing you take a little break, but before leaving the bed I remove my burlesque panties and shove them deep in you mouth. No talking. I wash. I pee.

Upon return I plug the Hitachi in– mostly for me, but I give you a little too. It makes your cock jump. It makes your ass rumble, it makes you moan.

“No moaning.”

Yanking the panties out of you mouth I get back on your face and go for a nice long ride. You become a mouth to fuck and very little else. I am gone. I am wanting to come now. I don’t care if  you ever come. I want come. Your tongue fucks me, flickers my ass, fucks my ass, I sit on your face, I command you how to lick me properly, telling you how to fuck me with your tongue.

You are such a good sport.

My thighs straddled across your face, I watch as your cock does an electric dance. Bringing the Hitachi to my already wet wet pussy, I hit it. Low–Oh god damn it feel so fucking good, god damn.
I can feel the liquid dripping down my thighs. The Hitachi is a super soaker to me. Quickly I click it off and you lick up what has dripped out, your tongue hot on my cunt. I am ready to cum.

I hit it again this time on high, my pussy lips hovering, your tongue lapping at me, the wand reverberating at my clit, but hitting my core. I could no longer hold back, I push the wand harder into me and let loose, let it all go. More than a gush, a soak, a river of girl cum floods your face, destroys the sheets and my favorite pillow bellow you. And I keep coming and writhing onto of you. My body is full of it’s own electricity–jerking and twitching about.

Keeping my pussy on your face I remove the electrode pads from your cock. I turn and straddle your face the other way balancing my shaky post cum body on the wall.

“Stroke yourself, cum on me.”

I cannot see you, but I feel the familiar motion of cock being jacked, you eat me while you stroke and it doesn’t take long before your tongue has brought me to a mild post orgasm–orgasm. I am flush as I drift over you mouth–trying to catch my breath and my senses–I feel your body tense and then I feel your heat splash my back.

We collapse–and the roles become neutral again.

When we regain–I then take the submissive role back and prepare us a snack.

Then I thought–-hell this is the perfect time to test drive the new 8” suction cup dildo.

Starting slow, with my fingers, I was already slick though, I have been horny for a few solid days. I switched to the dildo, I did not suction cup it to anything, but just ran it along my slit, enjoying the way the silicone feels sort of like real cock. Pushing the tip of the clear blue dick into my puffy lips, I opened myself up–running the length of the shaft between my lips, causing me to immediately want more. When I pushed the tip of the cock deeper I simultaneously felt my clit with my other hand.

I stayed slow, I was in there to relax.

Letting the dildo fall to the wayside, I drifted into thoughts of sucking cock. Not one particular cock–my imagination makes up cock–thoughts of what I think your cock is like, the cock I have tasted in the past. My ideal.

I switched to the jimmyjane’s (love that I can take it in the bath) low rumble, not in my pussy or directly on my clit, but on the mound, the surface–it makes me very creamy when I do this. Needy creamy.

The dildo drifted around the bottom of the bathtub, bumping into my thighs–seeking somewhere to go. I must oblige the inanimate cock. I must oblige my cunt.

More earnestly I fuck myself, the rumble closer to my clit, working my folds, opening myself up more and more–I start to work the dildo in. I do enjoy a nice big cock. It feels right and good, I have about half of the cock in squeezing tightly around it, gripping like I wish it were you. Like I would never have to let go of you. Like my pussy could hold you forever.

As I fuck, I notice my mouth dropping open, as it often does when I fuck myself. My mouth wants cock too, my mouth wants your cum.

I rise and stick the suction portion to the bottom of the bathtub, on my knees I lower my cunt to the tip, I slowly take it in, slow sliding up and down the shaft. My mouth still opening for some invisible cock. I ride. I grind. Slow turns to fast. I cram my pussy all the way down on to the cock–it hurts and feels fantastic at the same time.

I place three fingers in my hungry mouth–I think about you cumming, about you cumming in my mouth, my hair, my chin, my tits. And I fuck. In my mind I am devouring your cock with my lips and mouth. Questions and images of those questions run through my head the closer I get to coming.

What is the consistency of your cum?
Would you like it if I filled my mouth with your balls?
How rough of a blow job do you like?
Are you extra sensitive, could I have my way with you?
Do you want to feed me your dick?
How hard could I squeeze your balls?
Do you like it when my tongue slides into your slit?
What does your cum taste like?

I move my fingers from my mouth to the junction between my legs as I grind down and fuck few more strokes–daytripping about you feeding me your cum.  The flickering film in my head has you stroking your cock, pointing it at me, my mouth eagerly drops open, my tongue wagging in waiting. One last grind onto the prosthetic cock and I cum in a gush–I can see the white cream pooling around the clear blue of the dildo from inside my pussy and I see you cumming– hovering over me in bath, one last stroke of your cock–you shoot, gripping your cock tightly making sure I get every last drop I deserve.  Damn I love your cum.

Come on and give me some.

you damn fast tease

friction changes places–slip and feed dirty hot fucking
avoid struggle glide –a love life held as pages fell
shameful straining due to lingering programming

our wild land embodied raindrops and luscious compromise
accommodating, hooked and beatdown in Brooklyn
sorting the ravaged acquisitions into fractal stares and glances

afternoon boils–editing bawdiness with shy smiles and frequent decadence
forcing the river to pour depraved womanliness
in a  feverishly sultry  sway

precise gun tweaked my rage
and words stoked my timing.

part of the Cadavre Exquis Web 2.o series

The past week  much time was spent in bed with NYC. There is something about sharing a bed that solidifies a relationship. It breaks boundaries, it surpasses aspects of being human that fucking will never do. It is an essential moment in daily existence a moment we can only be lucky to share.

The warmth of a body next to mine, the breath (good and bad), the smell of our fucking and sweating surrounding us like it’s own blanket, the way bodies lock- tangle- separate and then connect again. Limbs twisting and interconnecting, your cock soft and spent or hard and nudging on all parts of my body–awake long before either of us.

I realized how much I miss the early morning sex, when the city light is just changing from black to dark blue and opening into that quintessential gray San Francisco morning, the kind that constitutes staying in bed a little longer, especially in someones arms.

Roused from a sleep by cock–the 4 AM fuck is amazing to me. There is little of my mental capacity functioning at this time. I am free from those thoughts of the day that begin to weigh the mind. My pussy still needs coaxing, but very little. Some fingers to wake me up, your tongue to arouse me–to make my pussy bloom and drip. Easily I am ready to feel your cock fill me.

My thighs spread wide, accommodating to you, sideways we lock, your cock plunges deep and my pussy surrounds. The thought process that fucks with me when I am awake and fucking are absent. I am lost, all pussy, all needy for dick. Pulling at your thigh trying to get more of you in–I can feel the engorgement of my lips–I can hear the wet plunging sounds we make together, my eyes never open, my head is still asleep.

The sex was slow and fast all at once. My pussy tight around your cock, I could feel every push and pull, the skin stretched and surrounding. I like using both of my hands to feel my full of blood lust pussy–so puffy–my clit buried in the mound of flesh my cunt has become–between two fingers I manipulate the pearl that is so deeply hidden in flesh, still in a deep sleep.

Some of my best orgasms happened during these sleepy fucks, no toys, no thought, just cock to cunt. The rush filling my lungs then radiating out of my body–culminating in a pouring out of my pussy on to your hard cock. We often came together at these moments–a hot wet mess and then we would fall back asleep you filling me and I surrounding you.